Oh dear .. oh dear! Because all other newspapers seem to be entirely full of nothing but doom and gloom, welcome back to the latest edition of the WSJ with nothing but good news.
Firstly, its time to trumpet what is now the third edition of our hugely popular early bird menu: ‘Worms’ is a more stable version of our ground-breaking fixed price two-course menu – which everybody and his dog now seems to be offering. They always say imitation is the best form of flattery.
In an attempt to show just how bad things could get and entirely ‘tongue-in-cheek’, I’ve put together a fictitious (so far) menu, designed to be applicable should this period of extreme austerity continue, (and god help us all if it does). Enjoy!!
CREDIT CRUNCH MENU
HEDGE FUND MANAGER'S SPECIAL BY THE PROFIT OF DOOM
2 COURSES: £3.00
3 COURSES: £4.50 Finance is available upon production of both halves of your recently cut-up blocked Amex or Coutts credit card! Pre-paid Lehman canteen cards will be shown the door...
Starters
Chilled Financial Consommé of Snow - with hedge fund clippings
Meltdown Melon - a meagre melon ball with a sad damp patch that once was a viable sorbet
Walls Street Whitebait - a generous fillet of whitebait delicately balanced on a bean sprout ------- Yum!!!! Main Courses
Bail out Beef - shavings of second rate corned beef with no chips left and garnished with wallet moth
Chicken Wing Lehman Bros. Style -- a puny wing of fire with our own bankrupt stock sauce
Slimmer’s Special: Negative Equity Strudel - Delicate air filled filo pastry with repossession salsa, being snapped up by cash rich developers Puddings
Northern Rock Cakes - they collapsed in the oven, hard to swallow and come back on you later
Tuppenny Trifle - used to be £3.00 … devaluation at its best
Fanny Mae Pudding - Freddy Mac said she might
PAMPERED CHEF... WITH A TWIST
30th of October sees the return of the very popular and extremely high quality cookware demonstration and sale- just in time for a bit of early Christmas shopping!
This time we add a little more pzzazz with our very own “Daz”. Darren is going to give a demonstration of a range of dishes using some of the Pampered Chef best tools. Daz is a very enthusiastic, lively chap!
The girls do a brilliant job of demonstrating the equipment, but Darren will be demonstrating more of the secret dark arts of the world of cheffery. You will also be given the opportunity to enjoy the meal for £10 if you wish.
Attention, all witches, werewolves, vampires, ghouls, gremlins & goblins!!
A COLLECTION OF DRAWINGS, CERAMICS, PRINTS AND ILLUSTRATIONS BY SIMON WILKS
Simon has lived and taught in the area for 10 years (including teaching Kate for her recently completed foundation course at North Shropshire College) and is now teaching at the highly regarded Telford College of Arts and Technology.
He studied in Wolverhampton and New York and this exhibition will undoubtedly show Simon's wide range of talent in many mediums.
Not to be missed if you are looking for something stunning as a Christmas present.
STOP PRESS
Can you help?
Rachael urgently requests help with her exhibition of The Walls history.
She needs old photos, memories or stories. Any one who can help will receive a Walls Gift Voucher worth £5.00 for their trouble.
Cottage Bookings
We bring you a continual reminder that we have a very excellent holiday cottage less than a mile from The Walls. This warm and welcoming bolt-hole sleeps 4 in 2 super-king size beds (or twins), each with their own bathroom.
For full details and this year’s prices please visit our us at www.thecourtyardcottage.co.uk. So, if the thought of having to put up with dreadful, annoying relatives in your own home is too much, then post them our way!
GRAND PROMISES AUCTION DINNER ~ 24th October 2008
In aid of St Oswald’s Church Organ Restoration Fund
I really have to be on my very bestest of all behaviour for this one! The temptation to lapse into my all too easy and familiar ‘Lavatorial Schoolboy Innuendo Mode’ when asking you to support this incredibly worthy and money hungry cause is almost more than I can bear.
However, suffice to say that the local church's mighty organ needs a huge amount of skilled and expensive work to return it to its former glory and that’s where you come in...
On 24th October we will host a dinner and a thoroughly professional ‘Promises Auction’ conducted by Oswestry’s very own "Mr Cheap as Chips" - Mike Tomley. If you’ve ever seen Mike in action, you’ll know how brilliant he is at working a room. Also to entertain you the fabulous Libby Glicksman is very kindly giving her time to come and sing for you. She is never to be missed and always thrills.
The prizes/lots are also not the usual, with one of the star prizes being a trip on the Orient Express!!! In all there are more than 20 lots. Tickets can be purchased (and, yes, this time there are real numbered tickets) for just £19.50 per person either from The Walls or from Mrs Veronica Donkin at the organist's house, Church Street, Oswestry – 01691 652257.
Find out more about the appeal HERE. Below is a list of the fantastic promises on offer this year.
Dinner at Sebastian’s for 2
Sunday lunch at the Walls for 4
Dinner at Number 35 for 2
10 bottles of Champagne
Dinner Party for 4 at the Organist’s House.
A round of Golf for 4 at Pryors Hayes Golf Club
Cut and Blow dry at Way Ahead., Salop Road.
One week’s ironing
Portrait painted by Peter Edwards of person at choice of the bidder
Limited Edition print of the Exterior of St. Oswald’s Church
Original Painting By Richard Haslam of the Chancel & Organ of St.Oswald’s Church
Picnic Hamper (Summer or Winter)
Celebration Cake Voucher
Ticket to a Liverpool Football Match
Transport for maximum 3 persons to and from airport (Manchester, Liverpool or Birmingham)
Two Cases of wine
Basket of jams, pickles & chutneys
Antique from Read’s Antique’s Church St. Oswestry
Tour of the Old Malthouse with lunch
Day’s coarse fishing on private lake - Moelfre
Floral table decoration
Day’s Fly Fishing on the River Dovey
Day’s Gardening
MOT for your car
Two tickets for the Orient-Express Northern Belle excursion from Gobowen on Friday 5th June 2009
GRAND PROMISES AUCTION DINNER ~ 24th October 2008
*** Special 2008 ***
for the first time, we're open on Boxing Day this year
On arrival:
Bucks Fizz, real orange juice or mulled wine with seasonal canapés
Followed by: Grand Victorian Buffet... featuring
Hams & Cheeses
Kedgeree with Salmon and Smoked Haddock
Devilled Lambs Kidneys
An array of Smoked Poultry with jellies
Good Bacon, Sausages, Mushrooms, Black & White puddings,
Cheesecake
********
Teas and Coffees ~ Exotic and Traditional
CHRISTMAS PARTY MENUS 2008
Christmas and New Year are very important to us and as you’d expect we take it as seriously as we are able to take anything. We struggle to not compromise our food standards, despite huge numbers of meals being served. We buy fresh local produce and try very hard not to ruin it! Not as easy as you might think!
We’ve stuck with the parts of the formula that have worked in past years and despite the allegedly tricky economic climate we’ve hardly increased our prices at all.
It’s important to continue to let one's hair down (all supposing you’ve got any left to let down), so it seems to us that we need to get ready to party. Our New Year’s Eve offering is truly spectacular with the highlight being the amazing high energy dance band – ‘Superbad’.
This group has played at a number of private events at The Walls and we’ve always been blown away by their stage show musicianship and all-round good time vibe. They are a truly danceable, dance band! All this on top of one of our hugely popular and reliable retro dinners, built on the solid foundation of old classics.
The menus are all up on the web site and can be found by clicking HERE together with all the appropriate booking information and prices. If you need any other information please don't hesitate to get in contact.
You are cordially invited to attend a Halloween party
