Starters:
Transylvanian Transfusion ~ A blood-curdling bowl of steaming love apple soup (tomato) devilishly flavoured with Drambuie

‘Thing’ A severed hand of melon ~ fingers of bruised melon with raspberry coulis

Offal Dangerous (awfully dangerous) ~ devilled kidneys and mushrooms on Hades-toasted bread

Mains:
(All served with a panache of Evil Nasty Threatening Vegetables)
Hubble Bubble Toad & Trouble ~ Bacon chop and sausage toad with bubble and squeak and eye-watering onion gravy

Ghoulish Goulash, a là Madame Whiplash ~ Prime beef with sweet peppers, smoked paprika potatoes and sour cream

Horrible Hazardous Haddock ~ A dangerously threatening fillet of smoked haddock on a bed of spinach with Welsh werewolf rarebit – ooohoww!

Last Rites Risotto ~ A potent mixture of Arborio rice, communion wine & Lucifer’s finest inferno-roasted vegetables – grilled with shavings of Parmesan

Puddings:
Beelzebub Syllabub ~ A creation from deep in the underworld – brandy & Madeira flavoured concoction a real knee knocker

Baby-faced Assassin Strudel ~ Dead apple & pumpkin bandaged in filo pastry, served with clotted cream

Crematorium Cheese & Completely Crackers ~ selection of curdled milks on a cold slab with grapes & celery